Life and People

Life and people are incredibly interesting and sometimes I feel I’d just like to sit back and watch. Such inactivity is, of course, a luxury in a world as frantic as ours, meaning that the closest I come to studying people is watching them at the supermarket. This particular indulgence is both a guilty pleasure and instructive because it allows me to imagine who these people are and what they may think about while they have no idea what I am up to (or so I think).

Leaning heavily on my shopping cart the other day (my knee is giving me the last little drop of trouble until surgery next week)I found myself confronted by a whole spectrum of people. There was one gentleman wearing a dark suit who I took to be some kind of accountant. Then he turned around to reveal he was wearing a wide tie with a rather large star of David printed on it. It was Saturday and I imagined he was probably a rabbi come from services. But then I was confused. If I remember correctly, no one is supposed to be lifting things on the Sabbath and here he was definitely lifting groceries and paying the cashier. Must be from a Reform congregation, I decided.

Then there was the relatively young woman whose rather large buttocks were straining her jeans. I hoped I wasn’t behind her when the fabric gave out. I could imagine her promising herself that one day she’d work on retaining her girlish figure until she stopped at the in-store Starbucks and ordered a venti frappaccino with extra whipped cream. Wow. Even I was impressed. I usually order a grande decaf Americano and for a moment I was tempted to order a non-fat decaf latte as a splurge. Watching the action at Starbucks is always informative. I had absolutely no idea there were so many ways to order a coffee experience or pay $5 for it.

I hopped my way over to the produce department where the aisles were ridiculously narrow and found myself trapped behind a bearded man with well groomed hair, wearing Bermuda shorts and a button-down shirt. He had a cabbage in each hand and was thoughtfully hefting them. Since the cabbage was sold by weight rather than by the piece, I couldn’t figure out why size was such an issue. When I smiled and asked him, he looked at me as if I were insane, put both of them back, and walked away. I guess I ruined his communion with the cabbage.

The deli counter is another study in human behavior. My local store doesn’t have paper numbers, so it’s on the honor system as to who gets there in what order. The rules of precedence are very strict. One man apparently tried to jump the line and got a very sharp correction from the woman who thought she was there first. I just stood back and waited, but both the man and the woman glanced at me with suspicion as if they thought I was going to stake my claim. I could see that they were prepared to unite to defeat me should I be so bold. At the deli counter, there is possible warfare in the counter clerk’s bored question of “Who’s Next?”

My King Soopers has self-checkout stands which are a study in traffic control. The rush is to get to one of the six check-outs but having once laid claim, it is completely permissible to dawdle. Suicidal drivers are not only the highways. I was aced by a young couple with a cart loaded with more than the fifteen item limit. Once they had claimed the check-out, they didn’t look my way once. I hobbled back to the line and could see that the cart that might have been next was quite disappointed to see me return. There’s something special about being the next one in line. I know that because I feel that way in the bank. After a long wait—it’s almost an adrenaline rush to be next in line, trying to guess which counter will open. It’s a let down when someone comes back and resumes their place ahead of you.

Ah human beings. We’re all territorial and we’re all afraid that our rights will not be respected. It’s really a wonder that we get along as well as we do.