The recent death of Natasha Richardson reminds me very much of that of Princess Diana: both were famous, beautiful, pedigreed, around the same age, fulfilling public careers, and mothers to two boys; both were also lost accidentally and needlessly.
Their deaths emphasize that it takes only a moment of time for complete reversal. One moment someone is alive and the next minute they’re not. The Greeks said that no one should be called happy until after his or her death because fortunes change rapidly. In other words, you may live happy but die miserably—and then can you be called happy?
In the Middle Ages, these changes were described as the turn of Fortune’s Wheel. The Tarot pack has a card showing the wheel turning with people rising and others falling off. If that all sounds a bit bleak—well, you had to be there. People in the Middle Ages were dealing with the Black Death that wiped out about half the population and they became a little sour on life.
In the past few generations, we haven’t endured pestilence or natural disaster or wars that depopulate towns. We’ve been spoiled. Our medical profession has been miraculously successful at combating potential threats such as AIDS and Bird Flu. We’re closing in on various forms of cancer. We’ve been prosperous enough for the food that keeps us healthy.
We have, in my opinion, become complacent about life and what we think it may owe us.
I like to quote my friend Kimi who once told me that none of us is born with a guarantee. The wisdom of those words comes back to me when I am confronted with sad losses such as Diana and Natasha. None of us is guaranteed wealth or even health for that matter. Not even long life or enough to eat. If we have those things, we have reason to celebrate because we are better off than many others in this world. If we have been given an education, so much the better. For these things we should be grateful and not just in the mumbled words spoken before a meal. We should be truly grateful for the improbable fact of our own existence and the people who care for us.
This idea was not lost on Natasha who, after her husband experienced a devastating motorcycle accident, said she realized life was vulnerable and every moment of it needed to be treasured. I take that to mean what I call living gratefully in the present, and that requires the discipline to live in the present and not be continually looking forward to some mythical future that supposedly will tip us into happiness.
Living in the present and valuing it is a good message for all of us. In fact, I think it applies not only to the possibilities of losing the people we love but just as much to how we permit ourselves to think (or not) about this life that has been loaned to us.
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