Advice for Politcal Wannabees in the Age of Trump

Well, there's no doubt about the new political winds blowing in this country. Even the Republican Party is acknowledging (reluctantly) that the times are not just changing but they have already done so. The pendulum has swung from moral probity (hypocritical or not) to hucksterism (what have you done for me lately?"). The confused losers in all this are the "establishment" whose self-congratulatory, moral superiority (definitely hypocritical) now looks old-fashioned.

And it's not just the Republicans riding this roller coaster. Every one in politics regardless of party is feelings these winds.

And what of the low that that the winds rotate around? I have very mixed feelings. On the one hand Mr. Trump has said a lot of things that needed to be and I actually found myself agreeing with him from time to time. But then he followed them up with things so over the top that I found myself asking, "Is this for real?" or are we one day going to hear him say "Gotcha, April Fool!" Is he the party clean-up crew sent in to allow the party to move back toward the middle? Is he supposed to be a parody of some kind? This is a position I may need to review since Mr. Trump is increasingly giving every indication of taking himself seriously.

Whatever his purposes, I have to say that he has changed current politics. I hesitate to say forever because American politics is strewn with outrageous exchanges, including when
Preston Smith Brooks  hit Senator Charles Sumner on the head with a cane on May 22, 1856. And this was on the floor of Congress.  Given that exchange in passion, perhaps it might even be said that Mr. Trump has returned America to its roots.

Whatever the purposes and history, however, it is clear that anyone wanting to enter politics must deal with an altered reality. In this light, I'd like to offer some advice to those daring enough to want to run for office. I call these the Diana rules, named after me, of course, and I would advise political neophytes to keep them or some version of them in mind.

Please note: I have not prioritized them. I'd love to hear how anyone reading this blog would number them,

 

• A foolish consistency might be the mark of little minds, but that was before the internet. Inconsistency is not necessarily hypocrisy, but it does suggest it. Given that, the best policy is to insist that any contradiction is in the mind of the observer
•  Every head a vote, even if that mind inside that head believes the world is flat. Point out that scientific inquiry is always open to correction (that's actually the scientific method): use that to question all scientific conclusions. Be sure not to stand under an apple tree when doing so.
• Choose your endorsers wisely because you will be judged by them. Try to avoid narcissists who will promote themselves rather than you. If you choose and idiot, you will be thought one.
• Try to not to be laughed at too much on national television. Overwhelming Steven Colbert with too much material at one time is not a good idea. Besides it's not kind. He might hurt himself laughing.
• If you must quote the Bible, remember that Christians supposedly follow the New Testament. Getting all your thunder from the Old Testament is merely self indulgent.
• Understanding your voters does not necessarily  mean pandering to them. But that may help. Understand, though, that voters are fickle and just because they like you in the primary it does not follow that they will vote for you in the general. Be sure to craft a message in less than ten words and keep hammering on it. That's about the level of tolerance of the average listener or reader.
• Once something is said often enough, it becomes true whether or not it is. In politics word of mouth is more important than the dictionary. Shouting something does not make it more true. But on the other hand, sometimes it does. Remember that if you can give a name to something, it’s yours. (See Garden of Eden and spotting liberals under every rock.)
• Duck when asked to define the terms fascist and socialist. Your audience knows they’re bad without needing to know more. Since "I refuse to speculate" is the modern equivalent of taking the fifth you want to use this sparingly. Besides, why should you need to. Practice speaking extemporaneously for ten minutes without saying anything.
• Talk endlessly about dirty tricks when you think you are the victim. In that case become morally outraged, but do not fail to learn from them how they are done.

Please notice that I have used Republican examples for the most part,. This is not a political endorsement. It's only because the material to draw from is so rich. Indeed, I hope that all political wannabees will benefit from my words because I am quite sure that practising these principles will lead on to victory.